Alyssa Milano's GoFundMe post made people furious. Was the anger misplaced?
Alyssa Milano had one request. Yet, many on the internet weren't too "charmed."
It all started when the actress posted on X, formerly Twitter, late last month asking fans to donate to a fundraiser for a trip for her son's baseball team. She linked to a GoFundMe page, which was created in May 2023, seeking $10,000.
Cue the uproar. "You are a damned millionaire," one X user wrote. "Girl they still play 'Charmed' on TNT," wrote another.
Milano isn't the first celebrity to get backlash for requesting donations. (Remember when Kylie Jenner shared a GoFundMe for a makeup artist's medical expenses?) So why do we get so up in arms when famous people ask for money? Experts say it has less to do with the celebrity and more to do with the economic stress people are under, as well as a phenomenon known as "donation fatigue," which has been exacerbated lately by global turmoil.
"A lot of people are feeling like they're stuck and they are living week-to-week, and people are feeling like they're not sure how they can make a difference," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "Those feelings can be directed toward a person, especially when people don't feel like they have a voice or their voice has been blocked."
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Why are people so heated about Alyssa Milano?
There's the obvious reason, Sarkis says, which is that people perceive Milano as wealthy and are put off when she asks for money, especially for something personal.
But the ire also points to a deeper stress people are feeling, Sarkis adds.
"We have to look at the bigger issue," she says. "When you have people that can't afford a house and can't afford day-to-day expenses, it does stoke anger toward people that do have enough and are asking for more, or they're asking for more for someone else."
Moya Luckett, a professor of media studies at New York University's Gallatin School of Individualized Study, adds people are also experiencing donation fatigue, which she describes as fatigue from getting asked for money. This feeling has gotten worse over the past year, she says, in part due to global conflicts like the war in Ukraine, as well as increased inflation.
When people are faced with issues like these, the last thing they want to hear is a request to donate to a celebrity's kid's baseball team, she says.
"People have an assumption that celebrities are very rich, and they're not going to be particularly amenable to having them ask for yet more money," Luckett says. "Especially in an economic moment like the one we're in where a lot of people are hurting, they don't want to hear people who seemingly have it all asking for money from ordinary people."
When this anger combines with the anonymity afforded by the internet, backlash is almost inevitable, Sarkis says.
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What is the right way to ask for help?
Despite the online furor, Milano defended her donations request on Instagram.
"Every parent raises money for their child’s sports teams and many of them do so through GoFundMe. I am no different," she captioned screenshots of people commenting on her 12-year-old son's photos. "As much as I’d love to pay for the entire team and their families for travel, transportation, hotel, food and beverage, uniforms, trading pins and all the things teams do for this kind of trip — I can not afford to do so. Maybe someday."
The "Charmed" star continued: "Also, if I did pay for everyone — my trolls would find something else to be hurtful about."
Some defended Milano amid the backlash, with one X user calling the complaints "petty" and asking, "Is Milano supposed to pay for everything her son's baseball team does? It's normal for parents to help raise money. It's normal to ask a famous parent to spread the word."
Luckett and Sarkis agree that leaving disparaging comments on Milano's social media won't fix anything.
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Sarkis encourages people to investigate what really may be driving their anger at this request, rather than taking said anger out on Milano and her family.
"We can have a variety of feelings that come through that we don't necessarily take accountability for," Sarkis says. "And we really need to look at what is it that we're angry about, and is there anything we can do to change it."
Contributing: Taijuan Moorman, USA TODAY
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