No house, spouse or baby: Should parents worry their kids are still living at home? Maybe not.
Today's young adults are less likely to date, marry, have kids and move out of their parents' homes than previous generations. Some people are hitting the panic button about an epidemic of "prolonged adolescence" − and what will happen if millions of young Americans simply don't assume adult responsibilities.
Will they face health or financial problems? How will their choices affect the rest of society?
The complicated reality is not necessarily cause for alarm. Demographic comparisons between previous and current generations miss the ways that institutions such as marriage, family and work have evolved. Young people's behavior has altered because the demands and expectations placed on them are no longer the same. And changes that look alarming to older generations might actually have significant upsides.
Consider family formation. It's true that more young people are delaying marriage and child-rearing, and even opting not to have kids.
In just two generations (since the 1950s), the median age at which men and women first get hitched rose seven and eight years to 30 and 28, respectively. And 44% of Americans ages 18-49 report not wanting to have children.
Those who do are having them later in life − the median age for a woman giving birth is now 30, up from 27 in 1990. The overall U.S. birth rate has dropped 20% since 2007.
Rise of women in workforce reduced pressure to marry at young age
Many of the reasons behind these changes are good ones. The biggest contributing factor to the rising median age of first-time motherhood is a decline in teen pregnancy. It fell from 61.8 births per 1,000 females ages 15-19 in 1991 to 15.4 in 2020. This is a hugely positive development.
Similarly, as opportunities for women to work and earn income have grown, they've been relieved of some of the financial and social pressure that contributed to marrying younger.
In 1950, only about 30% of females older than 15 participated in the labor force, whereas by 2005, that figure was 60%. Education levels have risen, too: In 1970, 12% of women ages 25-34 held a four-year college degree. A half century later, that figure is 41%.
Meanwhile, Food and Drug Administration approval of the first contraceptive pill in the 1960s radically reduced unplanned pregnancies, another source of pressure to marry.
Taking advantage of opportunities to study, work, make money and control one's fertility is hardly a sign of prolonged adolescence; it's a rational response to the options available.
I tried getting birth control at 17.I had no idea how hard it would be.
Today, marriage is driven less by need and more by love and desire for companionship, but it can result in tangible benefits just the same. Research suggests that married individuals make more money than single people, and that may be because married people can be more selective when job hunting. They don't have to take the first job offer that comes their way, because a working spouse has their back in terms of household income.
Taking some time before traditional adult commitments can also mean a more stable life. Studies show that people who marry in their early 30s have the lowest rates of divorce.
Adults can find support and companionship outside of marriage
Parents may fear that if their offspring never marry, they won't experience the psychological benefits of long-term partnership, such as companionship, emotional support and a sense of stability.
While these advantages are real, people can find them outside of marriage. A sense of belonging and purpose can come from many places, including extended family, a religious community, or even a neighborhood softball team or local bar.
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In other words, the fact that young people are delaying family formation isn't itself the problem. Rather, it's that they're doing so while also failing to cultivate meaningful social connections elsewhere: 27% of millennials, born between 1981 to 1996, say they have zero close friends. Generation Z, born between 1997 to 2012, might have it even worse.
In total, about 61% of young Americans report experiencing "serious loneliness," according to a 2021 Harvard study. The rate of friendship formation is at a historic low.
The loneliness epidemic among young people is a far graver public health concern than delaying traditional life markers. Studies have repeatedly shown that close friends play a decisive role in preventing depression and suicide. Psychiatric researchers estimate that the health effects of prolonged social isolation equate to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Another conventional marker of maturity in the United States was "leaving the nest," but that, too, has changed. The percentage of 25- to 34-year-olds living with their parents has jumped nearly 50% since 2000. Today, nearly 1 in 6 of young adults still lives at home.
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That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's normal in many countries, and it can help people save money and deepen connections with parents, siblings and hometown friends.
What's more concerning is when young people move out only to later move back in. Research suggests that "boomeranging" back to your parents' house after a period of independence can lead to mental health challenges beyond what might have precipitated the move, such as a break-up or job loss.
From a mental health perspective, what matters is that young people are moving toward residential and financial independence. But if young people want to move out and can't because of debt or other financial stressors, that is a reason for concern. Financial stress harms mental and even physical health.
Symptoms that seem to indicate a case of generational prolonged adolescence are, upon closer examination, more complicated. Most aren't problems in and of themselves. But some draw attention to social trends that should concern us, and that we must address soon.
Dr. Phil McGraw, Ph.D., is one of the most well-known mental health professionals in the world and the host of one of daytime TV’s top-rated programs, "Dr. Phil." Dr. John Whyte is chief medical officer of WebMD.