Joe Biden has everyone worried. Let’s talk about aging, for real.
After President Joe Biden, 81, had a stumbling debate performance people can't stop talking about one thing: his age.
Voters have expressed concern and made memes on social media about it. TV pundits have analyzed it to no end. Jon Stewart even gave a comedic diatribe about it on "The Daily Show" that's racked up over 4 million views on YouTube.
And Biden's opponent Donald Trump, 78, has capitalized on the discourse. At a rally on Tuesday, he called Biden "unfit to be president" and called for another debate.
The fact is that concerns about Biden's mental fitness have Americans across the political spectrum weighing in − and it's also evoked familiar feelings in people who have had to deal with aging parents and relatives, especially those who have resisted compromising on their independence or lifestyle. The situation has sparked important conversations about how and when we talk about aging − both when it comes to political figures, like Joe Biden, and just your average Joes.
"We do want to make sure that we have someone in office that is cognitively doing OK," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. And while in general "there's no true right way" to talk about aging and its impacts, she says, there are productive and "better ways to address it."
Joe Biden, the debate and when it's OK to talk about politicians' health
Biden's voice was hoarse and raspy from the start of the debate. He stumbled over words and had to correct himself with numbers. He was sometimes hard to follow. On one occasion, the president appeared to lose his train of thought, stopped speaking and concluded − confusingly − with the line, "we finally beat Medicare."
It's made people wonder: Is Biden physically and mentally fit for another four years in office? Or are the challenges that often come with advanced age a hinderance to his job performance?
They're speculative and personal questions.
White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has said Biden has extensive yearly physicals and was suffering from a cold at the debate, along with jet lag. “He has seen a neurologist three times,” Jean-Pierre added.
If Biden were merely a private citizen, such probing from outsiders would likely be rude and inappropriate. When it comes to politicians, however, experts say there's a responsibility to disclose health conditions given the power they wield in society.
"When a highly powerful elected official is observed publicly experiencing a medical issue that impacts cognition to a significant degree, it is reasonable to expect public discussion as well as a public response from the leader," Laura Petiford, a marriage and family therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner, previously told USA TODAY.
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Plenty of medical experts weigh in on public figures in the news. That said, "it's not ethical for health practitioners to diagnose people from afar, regardless of whether they're a celebrity or a politician," therapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY. "But it may be important to assure that someone in a position of power is getting treated by a professional to ensure that they still have the ability to perform the duties assigned to their position."
Biden isn't the only politician whose health and age have prompted public concern. Trump and Biden are the two oldest major-party candidates for president. During his presidency, Trump's cognitive tests became a point of public interest. And it's hard to forget when last year, Mitch McConnell suddenly stopped speaking at a press conference, leaving many – including fellow politicians – questioning whether the GOP senator had some kind of health episode.
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Brad Fulton, associate professor of management and social policy at the Indiana University – Bloomington, previously told USA TODAY that "there may be situations where a political leader’s health directly impacts their ability to perform their duties. In those cases, there might be a legitimate public interest in knowing about their health condition. Yet, such discussions should avoid being speculative or sensational."
How to talk to someone about their age
Since the debate, Biden has insisted he plans to remain the Democratic presidential nominee, to the chagrin of many in his own party.
His X account shared the following message after the debate: "Let me say this as clearly as I can: I’m the sitting President of the United States. I’m the nominee of the Democratic party. I’m staying in the race."
For some, Biden's insistence to remain a nominee feels familiar, like your elderly grandmother who refuses to stop driving. Or your grandfather that resists moving into assisted living, even though he needs it.
One X user summed it up as: "does anyone else feel like the biden scenario resembles the struggle to get an elderly loved one to give up their drivers license and they refuse even as they increasingly put themselves and others in danger on the road"
Having these conversations with a relative can feel like navigating a field of emotional landmines, especially if the elderly person in your life is stubborn or in denial of their abilities. For those in this situation, Sarkis offers the following advice.
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"Focus more on supporting the person rather than getting it right," she says. Something that can help, she adds, is accompanying your relative to their next doctor's appointment and having these conversations with their doctor present, so a professional can back you up and clarify what's going on.
She also says to "be easy on yourself."
"This is a difficult time and sometimes there are no good answers," she says.
Contributing: David Oliver, Joey Garrison and Josh Meyer, USA TODAY