96-year-old newlyweds marry at Kansas senior living community that brought them together
The first time Carl Kruse asked his partner Doris Kriks-Kruse to marry him, she said no.
“I told him I was too independent,” the 96-year-old Kriks-Kruse told USA TODAY Wednesday afternoon. “I had been a widow for 5, 6, 7 or 8 years.”
Doris was married twice before meeting Carl and he was married once. He unsuccessfully tried to convince her that getting married to each other had more benefits than she could imagine.
Carl, who is also 96 years old, was persistent and asked again last month for her hand in marriage. Last Sunday, the pair tied the knot at the very same senior living community that brought them together.
The pair live at Cedar Lake Village in Olathe, Kansas, about 30 miles southwest of Kansas City.
They met at the senior living community when Doris moved in about 2½ years ago. Carl had been there for about 10 years already, he said.
The community has lots of on-campus events and groups for residents to take part in, including a group that enjoys playing pool.
“We play every morning except Sunday and I've been playing for over 80 years. I enjoy the game and Carl does too,” Doris said, adding that she just walked in and started playing and getting acquainted with everyone.
As the pair got to know each other, their connection grew and Carl decided to pop the question.
“She didn't say ‘Yes’ right away but I'd been a widower for 10 years and I just felt that I’d ask her again,” he said. “She said ‘Yes’ the second time.”
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As Carl and Doris got to know each other, they found that they had some really important things in common, including their religion.
“She was a pastor's wife, so she knew the parsonage and my father was a minister, so I grew up in a parsonage,” Carl said.
It took some convincing for Doris to accept Carl’s proposal, the pair said. They also laughed reminiscing on his proposal, calling it more of “a discussion.”
“I finally said ‘Are you proposing marriage to me?’ Doris laughed during an interview with USA TODAY.
And while Doris didn’t initially accept Carl’s marriage proposal, the new apartment they’d get to move into wasn’t a bad deal, she said.
Carl also mentioned the pension she’d get if they stayed married for one year.
But those are just perks. The couple gets along well, they love worshiping together and they are also both into music. Doris plays the piano and Carl plays the violin.
Carl loves that Doris is a quick decision-maker and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
“She has a good attitude toward life and doesn't seem to be upset by the little things,” he said. “She just rolls over and keeps going.”
Doris said Carl is a very good worship leader and the community has a service each week in the Cedar Lake Village Worship and Life Center, where they got married Sunday.
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No regularly scheduled worship services were disrupted by the wedding Sunday at the Cedar Lake Village Worship and Life Center: The couple had their regular church service and then went upstairs to get ready for their big day.
A total of 39 friends and family members looked on as they devoted themselves to one another.
“When I first came into the church, I felt like crying,” Doris said. “It was so wonderful to see all of those family members together and getting acquainted with each other. They all stood up and then after the vows were taken, we sang a hymn, ‘Blest Be the Tie That Binds’ our hearts in Christian love.’”
They celebrated afterwards with lunch in the community's dining room. There, family and friends were able to ask the couple questions and get to know them better.
“They asked if Carl had served in the Army, and where we are going on our honeymoon,” Doris recalled. “I said ‘Our new apartment.’”
Aimee Middleton is the vice president of operations at Good Samaritan Society, which owns Cedar Lake Village. She said Good Samaritan Society loves to “lift up awesome stories of love” so they were thrilled to find out about Carl and Doris’ love story.
People come to senior living communities like this one for various reasons, Middleton said. Some people arrive already married and others are single and just looking for a nice, easy place to live.
“Maybe they've lost their ability to drive and so they want to have all that convenience in life all in one spot,” she said.
She loves that Doris and Carl invited community and team members to celebrate with them.
“They already have a huge family already so for them to include all that and to recognize that they're a part of their family, it’s just a really awesome love story,” she said.
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Both Carl and Doris have been married before and said it’s important to be patient and “unselfish” in marriage.
Carl stressed that he doesn’t try to change Doris and she doesn’t expect him to change either.
“We all have our habits,” he said. “We have our ways and we need to respect each other's backgrounds … But I think the thing that draws people together is when they see something that needs to be changed and they're willing to do it on their own. We don't change each other.”
He also shared a word of advice he got when he was just 13 years old. A minister told him to “live each day with a willingness to follow whatever God leads and you will be okay.”
“We weren't trying to set any records this way but it seems that not a lot of people do get married this late in life,” he said. “Marriage is a sacred obligation to each other. That's the way I take it and I plan to live the rest of my life following what I said I would do.”